No More Shame

I still remember the outdated furniture and stale coldness in the room. It was so cold and out of touch. Women from all walks of life were there. Our paths had crossed at this awful place, a place where life was exchanged for death. We would now share an unmentionable secret.

No one let her eyes meet the other's. Though medical lights brightly lit up the room, the heavy darkness in my soul made true vision nearly impossible. What had brought me to this place? Certainly, I had people to blame. There was the man who sexually abused me in childhood. I could blame my biological father. Maybe if he had given me the love and acceptance I so desperately longed for, even going into my adult years, I would not have come to this place. I could blame God. Why had a loving God let such terrible things happen to me? Tears filled my eyes and deep sobs poured from my soul in that cold room. I knew I could not blame anyone but myself. I'd walked into this place. I'd signed the papers. I'd allowed my baby to be aborted.

I can just imagine Satan hissing as he writes his name across the victim's heart: Shame. I have felt shame's pain - a deep, constant throbbing of regret from the past mixed with dread of the future.

Let's look at when shame made its debut. Genesis 2:25 says, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Then Satan slithered onto the scene to deceive Eve. When Eve fell into sin and took Adam with her, their reaction was to hide and cover up their mistake. That’s exactly what I did for so many painful years. But keeping my secret in the darkness allowed Satan use it against me. He is the father of darkness and the author of shame. He would constantly whisper that I was worthless, I was nothing and that if anyone ever found out about my secret they would condemn me.

But that is a lie from the pit of hell. When I finally brought my sin out into the light, God met me there with grace, forgiveness, and healing. I wish I could go back. Then he gave me the courage to let Him take my shame and use it for His good. I can say without hesitation the thing that has brought me the most healing has been to share my story with other women. Now that I have seen God touching and healing others through my testimony, the shame has gone and freedom has come.

Dear Lord, I thank You for seeing me as pure, clean and spotless and without blemish. You alone have the power to heal those parts of me that I have buried and tried to hide for so long. May Your grace be enough for me today as I trust You to work all things for Your good. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Write down and meditate on these three truths we all can be sure of:

1. By His wounds, I am healed.

2. God never forgets His promises. When He says that nothing I have ever done could make Him stop loving me, it is absolute truth. His love for me cannot be shaken.

3. Jesus died of a broken heart, so that I don't have to. He thought of me on that cross, and because of His sacrifice, I am forgiven and set free.

My Bible dictionary defines shame as the following: “disgrace, humiliation, often at hands of an enemy.”

We have an enemy in this world who leads us into temptation. Ultimately, if temptation overtakes us then we fall into sin which brings on a sense of shame. The feelings of guilt, disgrace and humiliation that we experience as a result of shame can bind us and paralyze our relationship with God. It will make us feel unworthy.

Remember that Jesus Christ defeated Satan, with the cross. Because of that, we don’t have to be held captive to shame at the hands of our enemy any longer.